Tovarase Gushter, tu, atat de dor ti-era de mine ca te-ai teleportat la mine sub pat, bre? Pai daca afla Sabi,nu-ti rupe coada?! da, dragii mei necititori, in aceasta seara minunata,venind acasa de la plaja din St Pete Florida ( si ce te lauzi, ha?) am descoperit sub pat puiul de amfibian cuibarit sub cuibu meu derapanat.
dar ca sa vezi, soparlitzul isi adusese si soparlitza, care domnisoara Gushter sedea pe tavan ca Spiderman. paralizate de frica auzindu-ne tipand si sarind p-aici ca Cameron Diaz dupa o supradoza de Monster (energizantu care face regulile aici) am putut sa le capturam; pe domnul Gushter l-am eliberat in natura. cu domnisoara Gushter,din cauza unor erori de procedura la descarcerare la locul incidentului, cu regrete etern va anunt ca s-a pronuntat decesul la orele 21: 12.
este nemaipomenit! la asa chirie ($100/week wtf!!!!) cred si eu : pets are on the house; buy 1 get 1 free ( ca ofertele la tricouri delanoi de la magazin ) : roaches are included, lizards come as a bonus. deh, nu oricine are onoarea sa locuiasca cu pesta americana.
ca o Groparitza novice am azvarlit trupul neinsufletit al creaturii la ghena horipilata de curba gausiana a probabilitatii ca alti fartatzi ai Gushterului sacrificat sa se fi strecurat prin celula, pardon, camarutza noastra umila. asta e, tot vroiam eu sa-mi tina cineva de urat.
Odiseea Floridiana continua cu episodul " Cold War : Empire Strikes Back " ; rusii imi manca zilele in continuare : singura kestie mai rea ca un rus este.. ati ghicit! O rusoaica! regina Amigdala Epileptica in persoana. o sa-mi iasa peri albi. deocamdata is aurii. (cam ca peshtishoru, dar fara inotatoare)
Si totusi, de o luna incoace am intinerit cu 2 ani...bine,nici n-am avut de ales,ca altfel nu mi-as fi luat abonament pe autobuz cu reducere; ce potriveala,ca aceasta experienta extraordinlingura trebuia s-o am la sfarsit de liceu,cand se prelingea inca optimismu prin crapaturile pesimiste de emoid in devenire.
S-or dus 4 saptamani de cand incerc sa ma murdaresc de America; sa ma manjesc cu oleaca de trai yankeu. Serios,ce-as vrea sa vad macar o data o masina murdara aci. Si noaptea lucesc masinile de parca si-au tras tratament facial cu diamant; sclipesc jantele alea cromate de poti sa te machiezi in ele. Adevaru e ca nici n-au cum sa se murdareasca, aici si noroiul e curat,ca e de fapt nisip in cel mai rau caz. (*oftat preluuung*)
Acum sunt orele 22:00 si ca sa mentin tonul comunist urmeaza inchiderea programului, deci ma scutur denisip si ma inclin..dragii mei romanei, ce m-as face fara ei?...
p.s.: pentru cine nu stie rusa (du-te,mah! noh, ma gandesc ca nu citesc numa pensionarii !) titlul inseamna "buna ziua, vrajitoareo!"
Monday, July 12, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Happy 4th of July?
Trai-v-ar stelele pe fond albastru si dungile alb-rosii de pe steag, mai yankeilor! ca asa neam de naivi si saritori rar am vazut! pacat ca v-o trag rusii si turcii la fel de tare cum ne joaca pe noi de atatea sute de ani mai rau ca la fotbal...
afara e o vreme neprietenoasa...ploua linistit si nu prea ( salutari Uraganului Alex pe aceasta cale, multumim pentru efectele speciale furnizate in ultimele zile si nu, nu fac aluzii la tornada mea, prietenii stiu de ce! ^x^)
dar conform cantecului "Vine ploaia, calc pe iarba, Zambind plec la munca-n graba!" nu las ploaia sa-mi strice cheful de a impacheta tricouri alaturi de ecuadorienii mei de la magazin. Deoarece,da, azi de Ziua Independentei, a voastra tovarasa de seama era de munca.
In ciuda ploii torentiale, noi ne-am distrat teribil, ne-am pozat pana si cu crabii, ca sa scoatem niste pictoriale high pt Cartea Cu Fetze. Dar cum pe ploaie de 4Iulie, ca american, ai prefera sa te speli pe dinti cu o sticla de Jack sau sa pregatesti strabunica s-o pui pe gratar, sa dansezi cu crevetii pe balcon, in scoicile mele...nu sa vii sa cumperi t-shits (not a typo), Turcu Sef (sta-i-ar barbecuiul in gat) nu vru sa piarda bani platindu-ne sa facem drifturi printre rafturi, a hotarat sa ma trimita acasa, ca deh!, eu nu fac parte din grupu lui de sclavi.
da nu-i bai! am apreciat dusul rece pe care l-am tras pana la prima statie. in autobuz Nea Soferu, acelasi ca si acum 2 ore cand plecasem spre munca, ma privi cu o mila sfasietoare...un alt nene vazandu-ma asa proaspat spalata mi-a oferit un prosop : "-It's a bar towel,smells like beer!"; Stimate Domn, pentru gestul in sine, prosopul putea sa miroasa si a palinca; in Romunica n-ai vedea asa ceva. Viata lunga si prospera sa aveti,ma inclin!
doar acu 10 minute m-am mai racorit oleaca cand m-am dus la plaja sa ma reculeg; sa ma re-culeg : pentru ca in fiecare dimineata ma culeg de prin patul spartan care scartaie la cea mai mica miscare de parca se descompune in vectori dupa toate directiile.
dupa cum vad,la mine e plimbarea si aspirina..numa bine, ca la DollarZone iau borcanu de 100 tablete cu $1. poa' sa fie si soricioaica, n-are a face: autosugestia lucra, domne!
Aseara trebuia sa petrecem. m-am petrecut eu singura pe dupa perna injurand asa cum fac de ceva zile din cazua maselei de minte. hopa! aici e punch line-ul . rasare acum,ca ciuperca dupa ploaie; ca sa-mi vina mintea la cap, ca pana acu s-a plimbat ea stie pe unde ; si iese @$%# din gingie mai greu ca Romania din criza, mai dureros ca mersul pe jos 5mile pana la munca in Madeira Beach, mai enervant ca muzica proasta de la radio etc etc.
fireste ca asigurarea medicala nu acopera Dental Care..la astia dentistii is niste macelari eleganti cu privilegii de matroane daca s-ar legaliza prostitutia.. tre sa ai abonament special plus curaj de betiv sa te lasi pe mana lor. naspa sa fii minor aici ca nici macar masaj cu etanol nu pot sa-i fac. ma multumesc cu o gargara cu saramura, e revigorant..Fuck Listerine, Saramura rulz! :)))
Multe lipsuri de Ziua Independentei...multe goluri umplute cu apa de ploaie care a stins praful aruncat in ochi. Iar pe Frontul de Vest.."Dragoste in Vremea Holerei".
St Pete Beach,4th of July : wind blowing with 16mph, humidity 90%, temperature : 78Fahrenheit.
Inchei transmisia, tovarasi,ca ma duc sa arunc colacul de WC, pardon, de salvare, ca sa adun ce se mai poate din Ziua Americanilor!
afara e o vreme neprietenoasa...ploua linistit si nu prea ( salutari Uraganului Alex pe aceasta cale, multumim pentru efectele speciale furnizate in ultimele zile si nu, nu fac aluzii la tornada mea, prietenii stiu de ce! ^x^)
dar conform cantecului "Vine ploaia, calc pe iarba, Zambind plec la munca-n graba!" nu las ploaia sa-mi strice cheful de a impacheta tricouri alaturi de ecuadorienii mei de la magazin. Deoarece,da, azi de Ziua Independentei, a voastra tovarasa de seama era de munca.
In ciuda ploii torentiale, noi ne-am distrat teribil, ne-am pozat pana si cu crabii, ca sa scoatem niste pictoriale high pt Cartea Cu Fetze. Dar cum pe ploaie de 4Iulie, ca american, ai prefera sa te speli pe dinti cu o sticla de Jack sau sa pregatesti strabunica s-o pui pe gratar, sa dansezi cu crevetii pe balcon, in scoicile mele...nu sa vii sa cumperi t-shits (not a typo), Turcu Sef (sta-i-ar barbecuiul in gat) nu vru sa piarda bani platindu-ne sa facem drifturi printre rafturi, a hotarat sa ma trimita acasa, ca deh!, eu nu fac parte din grupu lui de sclavi.
da nu-i bai! am apreciat dusul rece pe care l-am tras pana la prima statie. in autobuz Nea Soferu, acelasi ca si acum 2 ore cand plecasem spre munca, ma privi cu o mila sfasietoare...un alt nene vazandu-ma asa proaspat spalata mi-a oferit un prosop : "-It's a bar towel,smells like beer!"; Stimate Domn, pentru gestul in sine, prosopul putea sa miroasa si a palinca; in Romunica n-ai vedea asa ceva. Viata lunga si prospera sa aveti,ma inclin!
doar acu 10 minute m-am mai racorit oleaca cand m-am dus la plaja sa ma reculeg; sa ma re-culeg : pentru ca in fiecare dimineata ma culeg de prin patul spartan care scartaie la cea mai mica miscare de parca se descompune in vectori dupa toate directiile.
dupa cum vad,la mine e plimbarea si aspirina..numa bine, ca la DollarZone iau borcanu de 100 tablete cu $1. poa' sa fie si soricioaica, n-are a face: autosugestia lucra, domne!
Aseara trebuia sa petrecem. m-am petrecut eu singura pe dupa perna injurand asa cum fac de ceva zile din cazua maselei de minte. hopa! aici e punch line-ul . rasare acum,ca ciuperca dupa ploaie; ca sa-mi vina mintea la cap, ca pana acu s-a plimbat ea stie pe unde ; si iese @$%# din gingie mai greu ca Romania din criza, mai dureros ca mersul pe jos 5mile pana la munca in Madeira Beach, mai enervant ca muzica proasta de la radio etc etc.
fireste ca asigurarea medicala nu acopera Dental Care..la astia dentistii is niste macelari eleganti cu privilegii de matroane daca s-ar legaliza prostitutia.. tre sa ai abonament special plus curaj de betiv sa te lasi pe mana lor. naspa sa fii minor aici ca nici macar masaj cu etanol nu pot sa-i fac. ma multumesc cu o gargara cu saramura, e revigorant..Fuck Listerine, Saramura rulz! :)))
Multe lipsuri de Ziua Independentei...multe goluri umplute cu apa de ploaie care a stins praful aruncat in ochi. Iar pe Frontul de Vest.."Dragoste in Vremea Holerei".
St Pete Beach,4th of July : wind blowing with 16mph, humidity 90%, temperature : 78Fahrenheit.
Inchei transmisia, tovarasi,ca ma duc sa arunc colacul de WC, pardon, de salvare, ca sa adun ce se mai poate din Ziua Americanilor!
Monday, June 28, 2010
State Statute Statistic
ma si pufneste rasu cand citesc randurile pline de entuziasm pe care vi le-am asternut cu atata naivitate inainte sa ajung aci. bine, ca nici macar nu-s in Clearwater, is pe una din plajele din sud,la verisorii Dracului si, respectiv, nepotii mamii lui care se numeste St Pete Beach; bine o zis cine o zis ca pana la Dumnezeu te manca sfintii si mai ales in cazul de fata,Sfantul Petru.
Poposind pe plaiurile ( nu pot sa zic mioritice ca astia n-au oi, numa niste pterodactili miniaturizati... ahaaa-->) pelicanice constat dupa toate statisticile ca e un fel de Mamaia upgradata :
Au strazi perfecte, palmieri de-ti vine sa-ti dai palme, apa curata ( pana n-o da petrolul prin vizita),nisip fierbinte ca carbunii si alb ca zapada ( mai ca-ti vine sa tragi liniute de pe staniol cu el,asa-i de fin). Oamenii-s asa de stresant de primitori ( asta daca nu is drunk,high sau "Don't Give A Fuck"-ers) da la ei totul costa (vorba aia, frate, frate, da' pt tine n-am branza), preturi cu efect de bormasina pe portofelul omului de rand ( adik fraier si fara bani).si apoi cum sa nu ti se para Romunica noastra paradis?
mai si-mi lipseste cuantica,dom'le...apai inainte sa plec daca as fi calculat eu densitatea de probabilitate ca astfel de evenimente sa se intample, imi luam masuri de protectie. o bata, un topor, spray cu acid sulfuric, electrosocuri, bomba cu gaz sarin etc etc etc.
acum constat ca trebuie sa tunelez prin bariera de potential a fantanii cu peretii infiniti de US$h1t in care ma aflu...si vazand partea distractiva a lucrurilor.. in fiecare zi mi se confirma nivelul infinit de prostie americana. Astia nu stiu matematica elementara de clasa a 5-a. Avem oferta la tricouri Buy 2 Get 1 Free si aud o tanti intrebandu-l pe barbat-su : "draga, cam cat am plati daca luam doar 3?" bai, esti copac? pardon, palmier?!
sunt din ce in ce mai convinsa ca Statele Unite is sustinute de efortul titanic al unor pitici geniali apatrizi care traiesc in subteran.
azi am lancezit, e prea cald afara ca sa ma deplasez; eventual oi iesi sa vad apusul daca nu da cu furtunu:P
Hakuna Matata!
Poposind pe plaiurile ( nu pot sa zic mioritice ca astia n-au oi, numa niste pterodactili miniaturizati... ahaaa-->) pelicanice constat dupa toate statisticile ca e un fel de Mamaia upgradata :
Au strazi perfecte, palmieri de-ti vine sa-ti dai palme, apa curata ( pana n-o da petrolul prin vizita),nisip fierbinte ca carbunii si alb ca zapada ( mai ca-ti vine sa tragi liniute de pe staniol cu el,asa-i de fin). Oamenii-s asa de stresant de primitori ( asta daca nu is drunk,high sau "Don't Give A Fuck"-ers) da la ei totul costa (vorba aia, frate, frate, da' pt tine n-am branza), preturi cu efect de bormasina pe portofelul omului de rand ( adik fraier si fara bani).si apoi cum sa nu ti se para Romunica noastra paradis?
mai si-mi lipseste cuantica,dom'le...apai inainte sa plec daca as fi calculat eu densitatea de probabilitate ca astfel de evenimente sa se intample, imi luam masuri de protectie. o bata, un topor, spray cu acid sulfuric, electrosocuri, bomba cu gaz sarin etc etc etc.
acum constat ca trebuie sa tunelez prin bariera de potential a fantanii cu peretii infiniti de US$h1t in care ma aflu...si vazand partea distractiva a lucrurilor.. in fiecare zi mi se confirma nivelul infinit de prostie americana. Astia nu stiu matematica elementara de clasa a 5-a. Avem oferta la tricouri Buy 2 Get 1 Free si aud o tanti intrebandu-l pe barbat-su : "draga, cam cat am plati daca luam doar 3?" bai, esti copac? pardon, palmier?!
sunt din ce in ce mai convinsa ca Statele Unite is sustinute de efortul titanic al unor pitici geniali apatrizi care traiesc in subteran.
azi am lancezit, e prea cald afara ca sa ma deplasez; eventual oi iesi sa vad apusul daca nu da cu furtunu:P
Hakuna Matata!
Friday, June 25, 2010
American Dream
the american dream is for the americans, if it wasn't obvious from the title. if you're not one of them,you better be looking out for some serious pains in the butts.the american dream: u gotta smoke pot to believe it.
misfortune caused me to find myself alone in this USAdventure of mine. and since i made it through flying and airports and traveling alone,i will make it through the summer.
no, pe bune daca imi vine s-o ard pe americaneste; asa mi-e de ciuda pe tzeapa americana de ne-o luam acu, culmea,nu de la americani, ci de la strainii cu care yankeii naivi au binevoit a incheia afaceri si legaturi.
da sa va zic de la inceput. luni 14 iunie ora 5 dimi : plec din camin. Ma intalnesc cu Sufletzelu si luam tramvaiu gresit de era sa pierd autobuzu spre aeroport. Tataromu o mers asa de prost de mi-o pus la grea incercare talentele mele yoghine de respirat ca sa nu dau la boboci la 10,000 m inaltime. am facut ochii maaari la aeroportu Charles de Gaulle din Paris..in care ar incapea cu succes oraselu meu de bastina..si apai cand am ajuns in Atlanta o inceput distractia.
1.Functionarii US lucra mai rau ca vopsitele alea cu pila in unghii plictisite care tasteaza cu un deget de la noi de la ghiseu. 2. au maaari probleme cu translatorii ca nu le ajung pt cati straini vin..si stau si ma intreb la ce mama naibii au investit in GoogleTranslate?!....
3. cand am ajuns in Orlando Florida,ies din aeroport fix in...cuptor. bai, fratii mei, un aer cu microunde, bun sa fierbi tuica in cana de tabla si sa faci oua-ochiuri pe acoperis si atata de umed ca in loc sa respiri ai impresia ca faci gargara cu ceai de mushetzel.
4.e de-a dreptul imbucurator si stresant cat de binevoitori is oamenii astia; te plictisesti la un moment dat sa zici "Buna ziua!Ce mai faci?" nitam-nisam la toti strainii.
5. ghinionu la americani e ca au facut prostia sa aiba incredere in straini ; asa ne-am pomenit 4 fete cazate in apartament de 3 alaturi de chiriasii fara plata i.e. gandacii cu 100 de verzisori pe saptamana la mama dracu-distanta fata de magazinele in care lucram.
6. ne-am trezit falite dupa ce ne-a epilat rusu de bani si uite asa am inceput eu antrenamentul pt tabara militara mergand la munca si inapoi pe jos cate 14 km sub soarele necrutator; cel mai fain e ca am si sauna inclusa la capitolul asta, deci in curand, adio celulita =))
7. la munca avem in continuare Razboiul Tricourilor..ca asta cam tre sa fac, impaturesc tricouri, aranjez umerase, jucarii...beach accessories and stuff...ore putini, bani la fel, nervi si spume mai rau ca la sampanie. not rocket science, not quantum physics...*sigh* i'll be back, my love, i will not forget u, Uncertainty Principle..=))
8. viata-i scurta, gustu lung...si am stat la plaja mai mult decat scria in reteta, fapt pt care m-am prajit la foc mic in suc propriu si is o friptura in sange cu crusta; ca sa ma citez:" am un bronz care n-o sa-mi treaca pana la Pastele Gusterilor",prietenii stiu de ce =))
In alta dezordine de idei, mi-e dor tare de voi tovarasi si de telemeaua noastra sfanta d-acasa =)) yankeii nuj ce-i aia branza. si mi-a lipsit mangaitul campilor aci pe blog.bine,acum e mai mult tabacitul plajelor, ca doar o am aci pe dupa geam. plus ca puiul meu ( <3 ) vrea sa vada asternut negru pe alb Infernul Mariei Dante in dulcele stil clasic.
Am placerea sa va povestesc cum am lucrat eu undercover ieri pt sefa Natalia. The name's Wolf. Mary Wolf. Faza e ca tre sa iasa o linie de haine cu pata de petrol din Golf d-aci si noi vrem sa fim primii care le baga in magazin. si m-o trimis sefa sa ma prefac turista si sa umblu pe la rivalii nostri din zona sa scanez rafturile si sa fac poze daca depistez ceva. Tulai, Doamnelor si Domnilor, ce Garcica am fo',tu! Alias deghizat adica. Mi-am gresit vocatia.Ar omori Obama sa aiba asa spion ca mine. Sa am pardon,eu ma intorc la comunistii mei,sa manc ROMTricolor nu Sniiiiiikers (adik adidasi...adik mananci papuci...huuh..uhm..what?!!?? never mind)
e o experienta de nepretuit. pt toate celelalte exista Mastercard. pe bune,toti ar trebui sa vina aci macar o data. ca sa stie ce are de pierdut si de castigat.
Hai, v-am pupat, v-am salutat cu respectul meritat, mandra ca un sef de stat! si va trimit niste canicula floridiana, ca am auzit ca acasa ploaie mult si ii frig, sa va usuce oleaca!
misfortune caused me to find myself alone in this USAdventure of mine. and since i made it through flying and airports and traveling alone,i will make it through the summer.
no, pe bune daca imi vine s-o ard pe americaneste; asa mi-e de ciuda pe tzeapa americana de ne-o luam acu, culmea,nu de la americani, ci de la strainii cu care yankeii naivi au binevoit a incheia afaceri si legaturi.
da sa va zic de la inceput. luni 14 iunie ora 5 dimi : plec din camin. Ma intalnesc cu Sufletzelu si luam tramvaiu gresit de era sa pierd autobuzu spre aeroport. Tataromu o mers asa de prost de mi-o pus la grea incercare talentele mele yoghine de respirat ca sa nu dau la boboci la 10,000 m inaltime. am facut ochii maaari la aeroportu Charles de Gaulle din Paris..in care ar incapea cu succes oraselu meu de bastina..si apai cand am ajuns in Atlanta o inceput distractia.
1.Functionarii US lucra mai rau ca vopsitele alea cu pila in unghii plictisite care tasteaza cu un deget de la noi de la ghiseu. 2. au maaari probleme cu translatorii ca nu le ajung pt cati straini vin..si stau si ma intreb la ce mama naibii au investit in GoogleTranslate?!....
3. cand am ajuns in Orlando Florida,ies din aeroport fix in...cuptor. bai, fratii mei, un aer cu microunde, bun sa fierbi tuica in cana de tabla si sa faci oua-ochiuri pe acoperis si atata de umed ca in loc sa respiri ai impresia ca faci gargara cu ceai de mushetzel.
4.e de-a dreptul imbucurator si stresant cat de binevoitori is oamenii astia; te plictisesti la un moment dat sa zici "Buna ziua!Ce mai faci?" nitam-nisam la toti strainii.
5. ghinionu la americani e ca au facut prostia sa aiba incredere in straini ; asa ne-am pomenit 4 fete cazate in apartament de 3 alaturi de chiriasii fara plata i.e. gandacii cu 100 de verzisori pe saptamana la mama dracu-distanta fata de magazinele in care lucram.
6. ne-am trezit falite dupa ce ne-a epilat rusu de bani si uite asa am inceput eu antrenamentul pt tabara militara mergand la munca si inapoi pe jos cate 14 km sub soarele necrutator; cel mai fain e ca am si sauna inclusa la capitolul asta, deci in curand, adio celulita =))
7. la munca avem in continuare Razboiul Tricourilor..ca asta cam tre sa fac, impaturesc tricouri, aranjez umerase, jucarii...beach accessories and stuff...ore putini, bani la fel, nervi si spume mai rau ca la sampanie. not rocket science, not quantum physics...*sigh* i'll be back, my love, i will not forget u, Uncertainty Principle..=))
8. viata-i scurta, gustu lung...si am stat la plaja mai mult decat scria in reteta, fapt pt care m-am prajit la foc mic in suc propriu si is o friptura in sange cu crusta; ca sa ma citez:" am un bronz care n-o sa-mi treaca pana la Pastele Gusterilor",prietenii stiu de ce =))
In alta dezordine de idei, mi-e dor tare de voi tovarasi si de telemeaua noastra sfanta d-acasa =)) yankeii nuj ce-i aia branza. si mi-a lipsit mangaitul campilor aci pe blog.bine,acum e mai mult tabacitul plajelor, ca doar o am aci pe dupa geam. plus ca puiul meu ( <3 ) vrea sa vada asternut negru pe alb Infernul Mariei Dante in dulcele stil clasic.
Am placerea sa va povestesc cum am lucrat eu undercover ieri pt sefa Natalia. The name's Wolf. Mary Wolf. Faza e ca tre sa iasa o linie de haine cu pata de petrol din Golf d-aci si noi vrem sa fim primii care le baga in magazin. si m-o trimis sefa sa ma prefac turista si sa umblu pe la rivalii nostri din zona sa scanez rafturile si sa fac poze daca depistez ceva. Tulai, Doamnelor si Domnilor, ce Garcica am fo',tu! Alias deghizat adica. Mi-am gresit vocatia.Ar omori Obama sa aiba asa spion ca mine. Sa am pardon,eu ma intorc la comunistii mei,sa manc ROMTricolor nu Sniiiiiikers (adik adidasi...adik mananci papuci...huuh..uhm..what?!!?? never mind)
e o experienta de nepretuit. pt toate celelalte exista Mastercard. pe bune,toti ar trebui sa vina aci macar o data. ca sa stie ce are de pierdut si de castigat.
Hai, v-am pupat, v-am salutat cu respectul meritat, mandra ca un sef de stat! si va trimit niste canicula floridiana, ca am auzit ca acasa ploaie mult si ii frig, sa va usuce oleaca!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Oh, Say Can You See...?
Clock's a-ticking! Florida, here I come! ( what's one more hurricane after all?! 8}}}} )
And I would like u all to meet the city that will host yours truly for the summer : Clearwater.http://www.myclearwater.com/index.asp
There are so many things I want to write about.. but time is another luxury i cannot afford anymore, so i'll keep it short.
Romanian educational system is a bad joke; there are some people that hold nothing holy, global warming and the damn volcanic eruption messes with the weather like never before, the Government cuts wages like plastic surgeons cut the fat off celebs.
and i'm...too beamed up to bitch about any of those things.. not to worry, i am not losing my spark, but i will take a leave of absence until passed June 15, when i shall set foot on the long-craved American soil.
so be safe to love, stay high to dream and lay low to work!
And I would like u all to meet the city that will host yours truly for the summer : Clearwater.http://www.myclearwater.com/index.asp
There are so many things I want to write about.. but time is another luxury i cannot afford anymore, so i'll keep it short.
Romanian educational system is a bad joke; there are some people that hold nothing holy, global warming and the damn volcanic eruption messes with the weather like never before, the Government cuts wages like plastic surgeons cut the fat off celebs.
and i'm...too beamed up to bitch about any of those things.. not to worry, i am not losing my spark, but i will take a leave of absence until passed June 15, when i shall set foot on the long-craved American soil.
so be safe to love, stay high to dream and lay low to work!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
05/08/2010
May 8, 2010. This date is going down in my History book as the day of "Spring Cleaning". In more ways than one.
Bucharest's Botanical Garden is one cleaner happier green place thanks to hundreds of people in the age span
of 5-50 yr old that gathered in the polluted heart of our marvelous country Capital.
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you take a bunch of "tree-hugging" (quoting the wise :D ) people that care about the environment and get them to not only hug but also trim the trees.
I must confess I wish to be a tree sometimes; there is so much to learn from a seemingly inert living being. it's something in the loneliness and steadiness and the way it always tries to reach the sky.
And now, to skip the tearjerker philosophical hoo-haa, I met some pretty great people yesterday. Hardworking too. If you have a Facebook account, you may admire the general performance put out there by a tremendous team work. if not, you'll have to wait til i get the ther set of pics.
Botanical Garden Spring Cleaning 2010
And my crappy cell-phone snapshots...of cool stuff :D
.
As a long lasting living breathing souvenir we got gladiola (sword lily) bulbs to grow ourselves; I planted mine today, hoping and praying for its survival. Plus a free month of visiting the Garden.
Now I better start racing like a pro for my upcoming exam this week.
Wish me monsters!
Bucharest's Botanical Garden is one cleaner happier green place thanks to hundreds of people in the age span
of 5-50 yr old that gathered in the polluted heart of our marvelous country Capital.
My shadow, my echo and myself is a cleaner happier green-eyed place too, but it didn't take a hundred people; just one. ;)
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you take a bunch of "tree-hugging" (quoting the wise :D ) people that care about the environment and get them to not only hug but also trim the trees.
I must confess I wish to be a tree sometimes; there is so much to learn from a seemingly inert living being. it's something in the loneliness and steadiness and the way it always tries to reach the sky.
And now, to skip the tearjerker philosophical hoo-haa, I met some pretty great people yesterday. Hardworking too. If you have a Facebook account, you may admire the general performance put out there by a tremendous team work. if not, you'll have to wait til i get the ther set of pics.
Botanical Garden Spring Cleaning 2010
And my crappy cell-phone snapshots...of cool stuff :D
.
Now I better start racing like a pro for my upcoming exam this week.
Wish me monsters!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Welcome to Hell, Fish!
This title sounds very much like "Prison Break", doesn't it? Well, today I was this close to making a decision that would have turned my summer into a fish-guts gore : a job as a fish processor in Alaska. I turned it down eventually, for the sake of American fun, non-fish-like-smelling me and Halloween and wolves and cats.
There are things that are too fishy to approach. Literally.Too bad, maybe I came back with really great tips on how to eviscerate defenseless creatures. Imagine the headlines : "Mary Krueger Claws Swimmers", "Hellfish-raiser", " Mary the Fish Slayer", or, my personal favorite, "Fishday the 13th".
But as neurotic as I am, my hands would probably get red before smearing them with the blood of the innocent ( inside bad joke, lame, I concur).
You know the times in life when you say "That will never be me"? and then you go and end up exactly like that.. yeah, it sucks. Blows even. Worse than Jenna Jameson.Cause when you're me, you hit yourself with the hammer repeatedly, knowing the contusions and cuts and bruises won't fail to appear. and it's gonna take more than make-up to cover that up. "We look younger than we are and older than we are; now nobody's funny; no God, they took our fashion week.That''s a real bad thing, cause we got scars to cover" And to quote yet another piece of "anatomical" wisdom .."Why do I hit keep hitting myself with the hammer? Because it will feel so damn good when I stop."
Below, I allowed myself to post my awesomely weird letter that was an English assignment last semester. It just crossed my mind, since the fiction in it brings in Alaska ^@^ Plus I've been told it's hilarious. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
December 20th 2029
415 Via Magnolia 876785
Adrano, Catania
Sicily, Italy, Europe
Dear Aunt Stella and all our beloved Peruginos,
Another year has rolled by (just a little faster) and if, in the midst of your busy lives, you are craving a little boredom, here is the annual Christmas update from the Howlett family.
The short version is that we are still in Sitka, everyone is fine, we had a great summer, nothing tragic occurred since last Christmas, we are not yet rich and will be less so after the 25th . For those of you with stamina, a more detailed account follows:
One notable thing in my personal life is the “Keep Your Untrained Pony Off My Lawn” campaign - that I had to organize on my block - which had a very positive outcome in raising my neighbors’ awareness over the fact that their pet pony Michelle fed on my begonias every morning.
My husband Logan and I continue to work at the same places, but are just now reaching the point in our lives where winters in Florida and semi-retirement are beginning to look really good. Part of that could be due to the major kitchen renovation (never again) we did in the spring along with other work so the house no longer looks like illegal immigrants had moved in. The money for that long awaited fishing boat has all gone to Home Depot.
Juno is now in grade four and her leukemia is still in remission, thank Heaven. She is now totally fluent in German and we are totally useless in helping her with homework. She works hard and does well but we continue to be terrified that we will, one day, have a teenager who knows a language we don't. Logan has not registered any of his firearms as they may be needed when Juno begins dating. She had another great year at karate although Dad blames her aggressive technique on genes she got from her mother. She also played her first round of soccer this year which I am slightly more tolerant of with the exception of the new words she learned on the course! The highlight of Juno's year was getting her new puppy, Banana, in September, and the two have been inseparable. Meanwhile, my husband and I have developed exceptional skills at carpet cleaning.
The most active of all of us was Granny Maxine. To celebrate her 89th birthday, she jumped from an airplane at 10,000 ft, if you can believe it. Then she spent the summer scuba-diving and taking flight lessons, nonetheless. And the doctor says she’s got the health of a twenty-year old. Yes, we have been spying on her but we have yet to discover the Fountain of Youth she’s been drinking from.
We'll be at my brother’s in Ottawa for Christmas this year with all of the family not currently serving jail time. Off to Vancouver on the 27th with my husband’s family and his Mom's birthday. We (me) will likely have worn out our welcome and be home by the 28th. It may not surprise you that my husband has nearly all the points required for sainthood!!
We hope this letter finds you well and we sincerely wish you all a merry Christmas and a healthy, happy New Year. With any luck we may have a chance to speak with you during the holidays (no collect calls please).
Take care,
Marie Howlett
P.S.: Depending on the number of complaints my husband may resume writing this letter next year.
There are things that are too fishy to approach. Literally.Too bad, maybe I came back with really great tips on how to eviscerate defenseless creatures. Imagine the headlines : "Mary Krueger Claws Swimmers", "Hellfish-raiser", " Mary the Fish Slayer", or, my personal favorite, "Fishday the 13th".
But as neurotic as I am, my hands would probably get red before smearing them with the blood of the innocent ( inside bad joke, lame, I concur).
You know the times in life when you say "That will never be me"? and then you go and end up exactly like that.. yeah, it sucks. Blows even. Worse than Jenna Jameson.Cause when you're me, you hit yourself with the hammer repeatedly, knowing the contusions and cuts and bruises won't fail to appear. and it's gonna take more than make-up to cover that up. "We look younger than we are and older than we are; now nobody's funny; no God, they took our fashion week.That''s a real bad thing, cause we got scars to cover" And to quote yet another piece of "anatomical" wisdom .."Why do I hit keep hitting myself with the hammer? Because it will feel so damn good when I stop."
Below, I allowed myself to post my awesomely weird letter that was an English assignment last semester. It just crossed my mind, since the fiction in it brings in Alaska ^@^ Plus I've been told it's hilarious. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
632 Denalis 99150,
Sitka
Alaska
United States of America
December 20th 2029
415 Via Magnolia 876785
Adrano, Catania
Sicily, Italy, Europe
Dear Aunt Stella and all our beloved Peruginos,
Another year has rolled by (just a little faster) and if, in the midst of your busy lives, you are craving a little boredom, here is the annual Christmas update from the Howlett family.
The short version is that we are still in Sitka, everyone is fine, we had a great summer, nothing tragic occurred since last Christmas, we are not yet rich and will be less so after the 25th . For those of you with stamina, a more detailed account follows:
One notable thing in my personal life is the “Keep Your Untrained Pony Off My Lawn” campaign - that I had to organize on my block - which had a very positive outcome in raising my neighbors’ awareness over the fact that their pet pony Michelle fed on my begonias every morning.
My husband Logan and I continue to work at the same places, but are just now reaching the point in our lives where winters in Florida and semi-retirement are beginning to look really good. Part of that could be due to the major kitchen renovation (never again) we did in the spring along with other work so the house no longer looks like illegal immigrants had moved in. The money for that long awaited fishing boat has all gone to Home Depot.
Juno is now in grade four and her leukemia is still in remission, thank Heaven. She is now totally fluent in German and we are totally useless in helping her with homework. She works hard and does well but we continue to be terrified that we will, one day, have a teenager who knows a language we don't. Logan has not registered any of his firearms as they may be needed when Juno begins dating. She had another great year at karate although Dad blames her aggressive technique on genes she got from her mother. She also played her first round of soccer this year which I am slightly more tolerant of with the exception of the new words she learned on the course! The highlight of Juno's year was getting her new puppy, Banana, in September, and the two have been inseparable. Meanwhile, my husband and I have developed exceptional skills at carpet cleaning.
The most active of all of us was Granny Maxine. To celebrate her 89th birthday, she jumped from an airplane at 10,000 ft, if you can believe it. Then she spent the summer scuba-diving and taking flight lessons, nonetheless. And the doctor says she’s got the health of a twenty-year old. Yes, we have been spying on her but we have yet to discover the Fountain of Youth she’s been drinking from.
We'll be at my brother’s in Ottawa for Christmas this year with all of the family not currently serving jail time. Off to Vancouver on the 27th with my husband’s family and his Mom's birthday. We (me) will likely have worn out our welcome and be home by the 28th. It may not surprise you that my husband has nearly all the points required for sainthood!!
We hope this letter finds you well and we sincerely wish you all a merry Christmas and a healthy, happy New Year. With any luck we may have a chance to speak with you during the holidays (no collect calls please).
Take care,
Marie Howlett
P.S.: Depending on the number of complaints my husband may resume writing this letter next year.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Choice
And the hits just keep on coming! that's what I've been telling to myself lately, here in the Land of Choice. So bring'em on! Give me your worst! It's all the more fun for me.
I am exploring the validity of hidden variables and it seems that consciously, the universe it deterministic.
In human language, if you wish for something really hard and focus on it and think about fiercely and envision it happening... it won't. As a matter of fact, it will go pretty lame. I've been experimenting.
Today I went out wandering in the heart of Bucharest. Initially, I was headed for the historical center. Then, I remembered I was planning on finding Bazilescu Park and so I changed course. I ended at the National Stadium "Lia Manoliu" :| I have mistaken the trolley by 11. Well, at least now I know how to get to the place where the summer music fests are held.
As for the Park.. it will have to wait. Crazy week coming, then Saturday I'm gonna "clean the green, cause grass kicks ass"! That be me slogan, mate! If you wanna join the community work team, here is where you can get more details. Gradina Botanica Bucuresti - "Curatenia de Primavara"
In an unrelated note, I am currently facing a very hairy situation. Wolfy hairy situation. Since my Romanian Nightmare is farther and farther away from becoming the American Dream, if I do get there it will be like : I will either hit the jackpot and find what I have searching for at the end of the world or I will end up in Guatanamo Bay Maximum Security Federal Prison. I hear it's nice this time of year.
Some other epiphanies hit me with the anvil today. In life, sometimes, you know what you have to do but you do it wrong. It is like taking the right train in the opposite direction. sometimes you have to reach the end of the line and then go all the way back where you began and take the other path.
Some are at least fortunate enough to be on the right track even if on the wrong train. And sometimes we find ourselves at crossroads. And we have to make a choice. If we are not sure what we want, we hate choices, because we leave out all other possibilities; plus it's easier to have others telling what you do, so that you don't carry the burden of that responsibility. But you never really feel freedom until you have to answer for your actions.
There are also times when it is better not to have a choice. Some of the best things in life lay beyond our power of influence. We can only roll the dice, not tell what it will show.
And even God plays dice. Who is to blame us humans?
I am exploring the validity of hidden variables and it seems that consciously, the universe it deterministic.
In human language, if you wish for something really hard and focus on it and think about fiercely and envision it happening... it won't. As a matter of fact, it will go pretty lame. I've been experimenting.
Today I went out wandering in the heart of Bucharest. Initially, I was headed for the historical center. Then, I remembered I was planning on finding Bazilescu Park and so I changed course. I ended at the National Stadium "Lia Manoliu" :| I have mistaken the trolley by 11. Well, at least now I know how to get to the place where the summer music fests are held.
As for the Park.. it will have to wait. Crazy week coming, then Saturday I'm gonna "clean the green, cause grass kicks ass"! That be me slogan, mate! If you wanna join the community work team, here is where you can get more details. Gradina Botanica Bucuresti - "Curatenia de Primavara"
In an unrelated note, I am currently facing a very hairy situation. Wolfy hairy situation. Since my Romanian Nightmare is farther and farther away from becoming the American Dream, if I do get there it will be like : I will either hit the jackpot and find what I have searching for at the end of the world or I will end up in Guatanamo Bay Maximum Security Federal Prison. I hear it's nice this time of year.
Some other epiphanies hit me with the anvil today. In life, sometimes, you know what you have to do but you do it wrong. It is like taking the right train in the opposite direction. sometimes you have to reach the end of the line and then go all the way back where you began and take the other path.
Some are at least fortunate enough to be on the right track even if on the wrong train. And sometimes we find ourselves at crossroads. And we have to make a choice. If we are not sure what we want, we hate choices, because we leave out all other possibilities; plus it's easier to have others telling what you do, so that you don't carry the burden of that responsibility. But you never really feel freedom until you have to answer for your actions.
There are also times when it is better not to have a choice. Some of the best things in life lay beyond our power of influence. We can only roll the dice, not tell what it will show.
And even God plays dice. Who is to blame us humans?
Friday, April 30, 2010
Unu Mai
Unu Mai e cea mai ipocrita si oximoronica sarbatoare, pentru ca, (d'oh!!?!?!?) se celebreaza munca prin stat si lenevit! E pur si simplu degeaba.
Adik dak stau sa ma gandesc, daca de Unu Mai lenevesc, de Craciun si de Pasti ce ar trebui sa fac? sa sacrific porumbei si sa ma inchin Satanei? bine, eu sunt agnostica si deci nu ma agitam oricum. In plus, sarbatorile sunt o scuza legitima pentru cei care au nevoie de o scuza ca sa leneveasca si sa bea in nestire.
Si pentru ca si altii sarbatoresc prin munca si s-au apucat de facut revizia la reteaua de alimentare cu apa calda in caminele maguriste vreo 3 zile, mi-am miscat coada cea stufoasa de lup si am venit inapoi la haita de bastina. Din nefericire Unu Mai a picat si prost anu asta, nu mai fentam sistemu ca sa chiulim in zi lucratoare.
Pentru cei care lesinati dupa Vama si munte, va urez distractie faina, soare fara carii, sa nu cadeti prin rape alcoolizati sau sa faceti pneumonie de la inotat goi in apa inghetata si septica a Marii Negre de jeg; daca ajungeti prin spital, sa aveti grija sa nu se prinda doctorii ce ati tras. Ce-mi doresc eu mie, dulce (bleah!) Romanie?... pai, eu de Unu Mai imi doresc sa gasesc de munca :)) , dar peste mari si tari, in tara lu Negru-ca-Obama si cei 666 de teroristi.
Si sa fie Unu mai bun, unu mai sincer, unu mai aproape, unu numai pentru voi...Sau doar Unu.
Adik dak stau sa ma gandesc, daca de Unu Mai lenevesc, de Craciun si de Pasti ce ar trebui sa fac? sa sacrific porumbei si sa ma inchin Satanei? bine, eu sunt agnostica si deci nu ma agitam oricum. In plus, sarbatorile sunt o scuza legitima pentru cei care au nevoie de o scuza ca sa leneveasca si sa bea in nestire.
Si pentru ca si altii sarbatoresc prin munca si s-au apucat de facut revizia la reteaua de alimentare cu apa calda in caminele maguriste vreo 3 zile, mi-am miscat coada cea stufoasa de lup si am venit inapoi la haita de bastina. Din nefericire Unu Mai a picat si prost anu asta, nu mai fentam sistemu ca sa chiulim in zi lucratoare.
Pentru cei care lesinati dupa Vama si munte, va urez distractie faina, soare fara carii, sa nu cadeti prin rape alcoolizati sau sa faceti pneumonie de la inotat goi in apa inghetata si septica a Marii Negre de jeg; daca ajungeti prin spital, sa aveti grija sa nu se prinda doctorii ce ati tras. Ce-mi doresc eu mie, dulce (bleah!) Romanie?... pai, eu de Unu Mai imi doresc sa gasesc de munca :)) , dar peste mari si tari, in tara lu Negru-ca-Obama si cei 666 de teroristi.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Multi-legged Winged Freaks
Cred din ce in ce mai mult ca tzantzarii din Magurica sunt asistente medicale moarte in accidentul de le Cernobal reincarnate.
Este indescriptibil in cuvinte efectul ciupiturilor de tzantzar; plus ca au avansat tehnologic si au trecut pe stealth, si-au luat antiradar, deci nu ii mai simti nicicum. Mai mult, s-au si vaccinat impotriva eventualelor substante tzantzi-cide sau repelente.
Ma amuza faptul ca aceste succubi cu fete de insecte sunt nesatule tare. Cam la atat se reduce vampirismul romanesc de secol 21 : tzantzari. Si ma intreb daca se aplica treaba cu transformatul dupa muscatura, ca asa s-ar explica inmultirea asta bizara, crunta si nesimtita a sugatorilor de sange aia adevarati, nu facaturile holiudiene.
La noi "Amurgu" e horror curat, ca atunci ies sugaretzii si astia nu se indragostesc de victime (multumim Naturii pt asta, that be weird ! ewwwww) A doua zi te simti de parca ai fi facut dus cu praf de scarpinat de calitate proasta.
Sa nu va ciupiti decat de la alcool! Ma duc dupa plici!
P.S.: i do have a thing for insects; it involves loud noises and painful death. on their part.
Este indescriptibil in cuvinte efectul ciupiturilor de tzantzar; plus ca au avansat tehnologic si au trecut pe stealth, si-au luat antiradar, deci nu ii mai simti nicicum. Mai mult, s-au si vaccinat impotriva eventualelor substante tzantzi-cide sau repelente.
Ma amuza faptul ca aceste succubi cu fete de insecte sunt nesatule tare. Cam la atat se reduce vampirismul romanesc de secol 21 : tzantzari. Si ma intreb daca se aplica treaba cu transformatul dupa muscatura, ca asa s-ar explica inmultirea asta bizara, crunta si nesimtita a sugatorilor de sange aia adevarati, nu facaturile holiudiene.
La noi "Amurgu" e horror curat, ca atunci ies sugaretzii si astia nu se indragostesc de victime (multumim Naturii pt asta, that be weird ! ewwwww) A doua zi te simti de parca ai fi facut dus cu praf de scarpinat de calitate proasta.
Sa nu va ciupiti decat de la alcool! Ma duc dupa plici!
P.S.: i do have a thing for insects; it involves loud noises and painful death. on their part.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Spoil Your Senses...
!!!!!!!!!!!!NEW!!!!!!!!!
^^^^^Ultra-special care for you! SPA of the FUTURE^^^^^
Are you tired of warm cleansing calming water coming out of your shower head every day?Want to feel like tearing down walls and screaming at the top of your lungs with excitement?
Come to the first HUMAN DRY-CLEANER'S!!
PAMPERING PIPES
We will blow the dirt off your back!
~~working hours : from 4:30pm to 7:30 pm, otherwise you'll get normal showers with warm running water like the normal average Joes;
~~we work with substances that will make your skin glow.(cause they're radioactive nonetheless :D )
~~a treatment with cold purifying air will energize you like nothing else; you will feel (and look) like the Incredible Hulk! (i.e. green and pissed off)
CAUTION : beware of Mosquito-zillas that might enter through the air vents!
Check us out only in Hostel G4, 3rd floor room 310,Town of Magurele, Ilfov County
P.S.: yes, we do have a water problem; we were on stake out every evening, until I realized that water too deserves a dinner break. :| the glow part is still under trials! =))
Sunday, April 25, 2010
YES!
What if for one day (at least) I would say 'yes' to everything? what if I took every opportunity? where would that lead me? Cause I'm pretty sure if I said yes to any proposition I would end up either dead, in hospital or in jail; this is real life, not the Jim Carrey funny flick.
I mean that was all dandy and fine, sweet even, how you get to grow as a person and find happiness out of a row of misguided choices.. but let's get serious. after all, the whole point of saying 'yes' to life is to carefully ponder the choice, its consequences, the people involved in it and then say the word; not jump head first like a blind horse trotting in a New York car jammed intersection.
But it would be fun to have a day when you could just go for it, not minding the outcome. Just go wild, go crazy and do everything you wanted to do or things you never even imagined yourself doing.
Have a walk in the park, step up on a bench and sing the Star Spangled Banner. Ok, this is a date with a cop or a one-way ticket to the loony bin. Or just go on a bus and stop wherever and take whatever bus comes next and see where it takes you. This is pretty safe; unless you end up in the bad side of town and get mugged and beaten to a bloody pulp by a gang of junkies.And these are just earthly examples.
I for one cannot ride a bike or go skating or anything that involves something else than walking on my own two left feet. I tried to, but my attempts were sentenced to utter failure, ergo my lack of a sporting hobby other than hiking.
At some point I wrote a list of things I wanted to do before graduating; I extended the time-line to the moment of my demise, because I am close to graduating and I am still at the top of the list.Hopefully I'll start crossing out stuff this summer when I will see the New World, where everything goes.. within the federal law limits.
Adding the fact that I broke a mirror again, after exactly 7 years (:|), I am counting on things to go swell. By me subconsciously fearing the bad luck, I will head straight for it :D like watching a horror movie through your fingers: you're scared and keep your eyes closed but still thrilled and curious so you take a peek.
But you can't take a peak on life. you have to face it with everything it throws at you and laugh about it; otherwise we'd all go koo-koo.
Until then, I will have a YES-week.well, more or less, til I get in trouble!:D Can't wait to see how this other nutjob of mine will turn out!:D Wish me monsters!
The Sunday retorical : How come drinking Red Bull turns you into a flying fangled chicken?
And the movie recommendation of the week :
I mean that was all dandy and fine, sweet even, how you get to grow as a person and find happiness out of a row of misguided choices.. but let's get serious. after all, the whole point of saying 'yes' to life is to carefully ponder the choice, its consequences, the people involved in it and then say the word; not jump head first like a blind horse trotting in a New York car jammed intersection.
But it would be fun to have a day when you could just go for it, not minding the outcome. Just go wild, go crazy and do everything you wanted to do or things you never even imagined yourself doing.
Have a walk in the park, step up on a bench and sing the Star Spangled Banner. Ok, this is a date with a cop or a one-way ticket to the loony bin. Or just go on a bus and stop wherever and take whatever bus comes next and see where it takes you. This is pretty safe; unless you end up in the bad side of town and get mugged and beaten to a bloody pulp by a gang of junkies.And these are just earthly examples.
I for one cannot ride a bike or go skating or anything that involves something else than walking on my own two left feet. I tried to, but my attempts were sentenced to utter failure, ergo my lack of a sporting hobby other than hiking.
At some point I wrote a list of things I wanted to do before graduating; I extended the time-line to the moment of my demise, because I am close to graduating and I am still at the top of the list.Hopefully I'll start crossing out stuff this summer when I will see the New World, where everything goes.. within the federal law limits.
Adding the fact that I broke a mirror again, after exactly 7 years (:|), I am counting on things to go swell. By me subconsciously fearing the bad luck, I will head straight for it :D like watching a horror movie through your fingers: you're scared and keep your eyes closed but still thrilled and curious so you take a peek.
But you can't take a peak on life. you have to face it with everything it throws at you and laugh about it; otherwise we'd all go koo-koo.
Until then, I will have a YES-week.well, more or less, til I get in trouble!:D Can't wait to see how this other nutjob of mine will turn out!:D Wish me monsters!
The Sunday retorical : How come drinking Red Bull turns you into a flying fangled chicken?
And the movie recommendation of the week :
Friday, April 23, 2010
Papa Roach, Momma Roach, Baby Roach...
So I feel these icky disgusting disease-carrying critters should be protected. In the view of the overpopulation of humans, we need something to compete with. and we are no more of a pest than they are, so it's a tie!
De la Elena Farago, care sigur n-a avut gandaci ever, "De ce ma strangi in pumnul tau, copil frumos/ Tu nu stii oare ca sunt sunt mic si ca ma doare?"
Stia copilul ca un gandac azi inseamna 1000 maine.."cine te-a pus sa intri aici? tu nu te-ai aflat c-am Aroxol si-o sa cazi lat?"
Si pe alta nota optimista vis-a-vis de comunitarii care ne fac sa apreciem viata mai mult cu fiecare clipe cand scapam fara muscaturi in fata caminului...
"facem slalom printre jivini zi de zi
intr-o curte mica si murdara asa cum o stii
cainii par conceputi pe cale artificiala
ca sunt multi ai naibii si n-au nici o boala..."
asta asa, parafrazand niste clasici in viata.
yep, dogs can do anything on command.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
De la Electronica Ni Se Trage...
1.Some great achievement today...la laboratorul de electronik ne-a iesit lucrarea super; si nici n-am masluit datele. In plus am facut noi o constatare despre zebre : sunt cai in dungi alb-negru, i.e. cai emo.
2.Sunt mai efervescenta ca Schweppsu dupa ce am umblat prin ploia acidulata de cenusa vulcanului ala flegmatic.O sa imi ia foc parul in somn.
3.Visul e american, dar cosmarul e romanesc! strike 2 today. I'm eager for the next mishap.
4. Puncte-puncte. "We care (fara semnul exclamarii)"
Multumesc, atat am avut de spus.
P.S. : Sa dea cineva un sut lui Mercur sa nu mai retrogradeze, ca a macelarit horoscopul.; ma fugareste mai rau ca la Cros and I'd kinda like to go back to my normal weird days.
Horrorscopul e un fel de fortune cookie; noi, astro-naucii, nu credem pre-auzeli astrale. But just in case.
2.Sunt mai efervescenta ca Schweppsu dupa ce am umblat prin ploia acidulata de cenusa vulcanului ala flegmatic.O sa imi ia foc parul in somn.
3.Visul e american, dar cosmarul e romanesc! strike 2 today. I'm eager for the next mishap.
4. Puncte-puncte. "We care (fara semnul exclamarii)"
Multumesc, atat am avut de spus.
P.S. : Sa dea cineva un sut lui Mercur sa nu mai retrogradeze, ca a macelarit horoscopul.; ma fugareste mai rau ca la Cros and I'd kinda like to go back to my normal weird days.
Horrorscopul e un fel de fortune cookie; noi, astro-naucii, nu credem pre-auzeli astrale. But just in case.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Ia-ti, Gropare, ziua buna...!
Mda, toate lucrurile bune sunt ilegale, imorale, ingrasa sau se intampla brusc. Blogosfera suspina cu regret si ofteaza cu emotie pentru dragul nostru bloGropar care peste o luna isi imbraca kirostriile. Se stie ca o data ce ai pus catusa aia mica grea de aur, cu impulsuri electrice cand detecteaza ca minti, viata asa cum o stii, a luat sfarsit!
Dam acatiste pentru tine, draga Gropare, sa nu uiti sa ne onorezi cu prezenta in postari, ca sunt atatia care isi leaga existenta de intelepciunea ta neegalata, incat ne temem sa nu se inmulteasca emoizii si sa auzim de cazuri de suicid ca nu te-am mai citit sau mai rau, sa ne vezi pe toti in sevraj!
Ca tu pentru noi esti ca Profetul, laudat fie-ti numele. Iti citim Coranul blogosferic de 3 ori pe zi :) si se stie ca viata de dupa nunta e exact ca in Rai : ii zici 'da' Doamnei si totu-i verde crud de primavara si pasarele ciripind..si dandu-ti cu ciocu-n cap dak ai vrea sa iesi oleaca pe poarta...Sa ne zici si noua cum e, noi astia care inca zburdam liberi pe campia burlaciei >:) sa stim sa ne ferim de boala care te-o lovit si pe tine (o lacrima timida sclipeste feciorelnica in coltul ochiului,..da ala singur din mijlocul fruntii cu care va vad! :D)
In alta ordine de idei, Partidul iti ureaza dupa cum urmeaza :
Aho, aho, mai cititori
Stati putin, nu dati ignore
Langa blog v-alaturati
Postul sa il savurati
Maine luna o sa treaca
Groparu o sa petreaca
Ca isi ia soatza frumoasa
Desteapta, fata de casa
Sa il faca om intreg...
(sa speram ca nu si bleg!)
Sa ai casa de diamant
Nevasta sa nu-si ia amant
Sa nu te transforme in sfant
Sa mai bei din cand in cand
Sa ne scrii de dupa gratii
Stiu,suntem niste pramatii!
S-aveti copii sanatosi
Groparei cei mai bistosi
Doar de bine s-auzim
Noi ce blogu' ti-l citim!
La anu si la multi ani, tie nea Gropare si lu' tanti Groparoaia! sa te dreseze bine da' nu de tot! :D
Iaca aci cititi cum ne da el cu ghioaga pisti bot cu vestea:
Si interviul lui pt Foaia Transilvania :
Iubiti-va mult, bre!
Dam acatiste pentru tine, draga Gropare, sa nu uiti sa ne onorezi cu prezenta in postari, ca sunt atatia care isi leaga existenta de intelepciunea ta neegalata, incat ne temem sa nu se inmulteasca emoizii si sa auzim de cazuri de suicid ca nu te-am mai citit sau mai rau, sa ne vezi pe toti in sevraj!
Ca tu pentru noi esti ca Profetul, laudat fie-ti numele. Iti citim Coranul blogosferic de 3 ori pe zi :) si se stie ca viata de dupa nunta e exact ca in Rai : ii zici 'da' Doamnei si totu-i verde crud de primavara si pasarele ciripind..si dandu-ti cu ciocu-n cap dak ai vrea sa iesi oleaca pe poarta...Sa ne zici si noua cum e, noi astia care inca zburdam liberi pe campia burlaciei >:) sa stim sa ne ferim de boala care te-o lovit si pe tine (o lacrima timida sclipeste feciorelnica in coltul ochiului,..da ala singur din mijlocul fruntii cu care va vad! :D)
In alta ordine de idei, Partidul iti ureaza dupa cum urmeaza :
Aho, aho, mai cititoriStati putin, nu dati ignore
Langa blog v-alaturati
Postul sa il savurati
Maine luna o sa treaca
Groparu o sa petreaca
Ca isi ia soatza frumoasa
Desteapta, fata de casa
Sa il faca om intreg...
(sa speram ca nu si bleg!)
Sa ai casa de diamant
Nevasta sa nu-si ia amant
Sa nu te transforme in sfant
Sa mai bei din cand in cand
Sa ne scrii de dupa gratii
Stiu,suntem niste pramatii!
S-aveti copii sanatosi
Groparei cei mai bistosi
Doar de bine s-auzim
Noi ce blogu' ti-l citim!
La anu si la multi ani, tie nea Gropare si lu' tanti Groparoaia! sa te dreseze bine da' nu de tot! :D
Iaca aci cititi cum ne da el cu ghioaga pisti bot cu vestea:
Si interviul lui pt Foaia Transilvania :
Iubiti-va mult, bre!
Run For It!
And there it was and there it wasn't anymore..the Annual Run-For-Nothing-Stare-And-Swear Competition for Students, Mummies and Toddlers. And how fun it was.
Actually, the day unfolded exactly as I predicted it would. Some things never change. After all, some people's improvement stop at potty-training, so ..you get my point.
Same chaotic organization, almost the same winners and losers..and of course, the "Dumb and Dumber" section. where you could have gazed upon the most annoyed and unnerved and pissed-off and tired-wax figures. Yes, the wax itself was mad, our being itself was made of sarcasm and cynicism and Hell couldn't face us, the faithful Keepers of the "keep-off-the-grass" ribbon.Yep, it was one Sucky-Sunday.
I didn't get to do any of the things I had in mind. at least i get to lazy away through the afternoon..so see ya!
Actually, the day unfolded exactly as I predicted it would. Some things never change. After all, some people's improvement stop at potty-training, so ..you get my point.
Same chaotic organization, almost the same winners and losers..and of course, the "Dumb and Dumber" section. where you could have gazed upon the most annoyed and unnerved and pissed-off and tired-wax figures. Yes, the wax itself was mad, our being itself was made of sarcasm and cynicism and Hell couldn't face us, the faithful Keepers of the "keep-off-the-grass" ribbon.Yep, it was one Sucky-Sunday.
I didn't get to do any of the things I had in mind. at least i get to lazy away through the afternoon..so see ya!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
"One, Two, Hell is Coming For You..."
We are now happy to announce you that your flight has been canceled due to the traveling ash cloud from the Eyjafjallajokull volcano eruption in Iceland. Also, the ash cloud will reach your area in t-minus : #$% hours.
Weather forecast predicts heavy acid rain which will poison the soil and kill all vegetation and livestock. Effects are long term , lasting for 2-4 years.
Earthquakes continue the series of mayhem in California, Mexico and China.
Have a lovely weekend!
In an unrelated note, this is Saturday Nightmare Live with Mary Wolfwere :D
And the hits just keep on coming : Electronics cramming for midterm. Wish me amps and monsters!
Weather forecast predicts heavy acid rain which will poison the soil and kill all vegetation and livestock. Effects are long term , lasting for 2-4 years.
Earthquakes continue the series of mayhem in California, Mexico and China.
Have a lovely weekend!
In an unrelated note, this is Saturday Nightmare Live with Mary Wolfwere :D
And the hits just keep on coming : Electronics cramming for midterm. Wish me amps and monsters!
Friday, April 16, 2010
No Refund
So, We are back in business.
Last week We read : US Woman returns adopted child to Mother Russia with a note that said : 'I don't want him anymore.'
I know Americans are picky, but this blows the limits. The woman claimed that the 7-yr old boy had a behavioral and mental disorder and she couldn't handle it. The little hellion was too much of a handful for the 26-yr old bored desperate housewife. So she put him alone on a plane with nothing more than crayons and candy in his bag and a note.
He was doing awfully disturbing things like drawing pictures of her and her family burning down inside their house. I would too, if I was an orphan and being fostered from one home to another, like herded cattle into the stables. Or maybe the unfit mother was paranoid enough to think the kid was a KGB spy sent to bring down the 'world's greatest nation'.
Let us break it down to the world : they are kids, they are supposed to be disordered. Of course, there are some mental conditions that go beyond the power of comprehension of our regular Jane Doe, but if any parent (biological or adoptive) would give up their kids because they feel overwhelmed by the situation, where would we be?!being a parent is a test of endurance; if you get on that ship, you have to sail all the way.
We are saying all this out of deep admiration for our parents who have made it through all our psychotic episodes and bitch fits and nervous breakdowns as teens.
They'd kick the X-men, the Hulk and the Fantastic 4 altogether!
Last week We read : US Woman returns adopted child to Mother Russia with a note that said : 'I don't want him anymore.'
I know Americans are picky, but this blows the limits. The woman claimed that the 7-yr old boy had a behavioral and mental disorder and she couldn't handle it. The little hellion was too much of a handful for the 26-yr old bored desperate housewife. So she put him alone on a plane with nothing more than crayons and candy in his bag and a note.
He was doing awfully disturbing things like drawing pictures of her and her family burning down inside their house. I would too, if I was an orphan and being fostered from one home to another, like herded cattle into the stables. Or maybe the unfit mother was paranoid enough to think the kid was a KGB spy sent to bring down the 'world's greatest nation'.
Let us break it down to the world : they are kids, they are supposed to be disordered. Of course, there are some mental conditions that go beyond the power of comprehension of our regular Jane Doe, but if any parent (biological or adoptive) would give up their kids because they feel overwhelmed by the situation, where would we be?!being a parent is a test of endurance; if you get on that ship, you have to sail all the way.
We are saying all this out of deep admiration for our parents who have made it through all our psychotic episodes and bitch fits and nervous breakdowns as teens.
They'd kick the X-men, the Hulk and the Fantastic 4 altogether!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Nu Exista Zile Bune, Doar Zile Fara Nervi si Spume
Entropia este fascinanta! Incertitudinea, nu mai zic! trebuie sa existe intr-adevar variabile ascunse (superstitia definita stiintific), ca altfel am putea face lucrurile sa mearga exact asa cum vrea noi, am controla perfect evolutia sistemelor; Butterfly Effect, ya know?!.
Cum incepe o saptamana buna?
Cum incepe o saptamana buna?
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Sodoma si Gomora
"Sunt student". Acestea sunt cele 2 cuvinte care iti rezolva jumatate din probleme; si iti creeaza cealalta jumatate!!Cat costa la noi sa demonstrezi ca esti student? 25 de lei si o luna.
Pentru ca urmeaza sa ma interogheze yankeii de la Ambasada SUA ca sa vada ca nu ma duc cu silicoane explozibile la ei in grajd, am nevoie sa arat ca sunt student integralist, id est imi trebuie o hartiuta semnata si stampilata care se numeste situatie scolara ; imi place ca americanii astia vor sclavi cu IQ respectabil, sa stim sa calculam si viteza cu care trebuie sa alergam pe la mese, densitatea corecta a bagajelor pe metru cub and so on and so forth.
Nefericirea face sa am facultatea in camp.La marginea marginii Bucurestiului. Ca sa ajung la Rect-orat (cratima e intentionata!) trebuie sa dau acatiste (nu, nu-mi tradez agnosticismul) ca sa prind un RATB sau un microbuz pana in Alexandria de unde sa iau un 96 care sa ma duca la Eroilor.
Astazi a trebuit sa sacrific un curs (toci,toci! Ja, Das bin Ich!) ca sa pot sa ajung la Rect-orat la ora la care presteaza doamnele secretare : 12-14 ( fir-as albastra daca pot sa imi dau seama de unde moda asta de 2 ore lucru cu publicul! adica ori dumnealor se considera super-secretare sa rezolve atatea sute de diverse probleme ale sutelor de studenti/profi cati suntem, ori au impresia ca traiesc intr-o comunitate de 200 de oameni, nu 2 milioane cate prezinta Crap-itala)
Pentru ca urmeaza sa ma interogheze yankeii de la Ambasada SUA ca sa vada ca nu ma duc cu silicoane explozibile la ei in grajd, am nevoie sa arat ca sunt student integralist, id est imi trebuie o hartiuta semnata si stampilata care se numeste situatie scolara ; imi place ca americanii astia vor sclavi cu IQ respectabil, sa stim sa calculam si viteza cu care trebuie sa alergam pe la mese, densitatea corecta a bagajelor pe metru cub and so on and so forth.
Nefericirea face sa am facultatea in camp.La marginea marginii Bucurestiului. Ca sa ajung la Rect-orat (cratima e intentionata!) trebuie sa dau acatiste (nu, nu-mi tradez agnosticismul) ca sa prind un RATB sau un microbuz pana in Alexandria de unde sa iau un 96 care sa ma duca la Eroilor.
Astazi a trebuit sa sacrific un curs (toci,toci! Ja, Das bin Ich!) ca sa pot sa ajung la Rect-orat la ora la care presteaza doamnele secretare : 12-14 ( fir-as albastra daca pot sa imi dau seama de unde moda asta de 2 ore lucru cu publicul! adica ori dumnealor se considera super-secretare sa rezolve atatea sute de diverse probleme ale sutelor de studenti/profi cati suntem, ori au impresia ca traiesc intr-o comunitate de 200 de oameni, nu 2 milioane cate prezinta Crap-itala)
Thursday, March 18, 2010
La trecutu-ti mare, CARE VIITOR?
Sunt studenta la Facultatea de Fizica. Candva aici se intra pe baza de examen de admitere. Era bataie pe locuri. Facultatea de Fizica a facut istorie pentru poporul nostru, a trimis cele mai stralucitoare minti peste hotare ca sa ne accelereze particule la LHC, ca sa ajute la progresul tehnologic care sustine toate activitatile, oricat de parazite ar fi. Normal ca excelenta la noi in tara nu e apreciata, d-aia au si plecat. Si vor mai pleca si putinii ramasi, pentru ca la noi nu se poate supravietui.
Fizica se clatina pe marginea prapastiei.
Probleme sunt multe, au fost enumerate in consiliul general desfasurat azi in aula. Nu ma apuc sa le mai spun si eu, ca se stiu destul de bine. Ni s-a comunicat ca suntem in pragul falimentului.
Fizica se clatina pe marginea prapastiei.
Probleme sunt multe, au fost enumerate in consiliul general desfasurat azi in aula. Nu ma apuc sa le mai spun si eu, ca se stiu destul de bine. Ni s-a comunicat ca suntem in pragul falimentului.
Friday, March 12, 2010
La Moda
Ptfiu! in sfarsit s-au dus cele 3 zile apocaliptice cu numele lor Sf. Valentin, 1 Martie si 8 Martie. Probabil v-ati fi asteptat (aici ma refer mai mult la noi) sa postez pagini intregi de balarii impodobite cu scaieti despre aceste zile "magice" care fac din portofele supernove si din suflete gauri negre.
Fara sa mai mangai campii (fie ei si electromagnetici, ca tot am o obsesie cu electronii in ultima vreme, despre care o sa scriu, dar in engleza, ca suna mai bine) o sa va impartasesc din epifaniile mele cu privire la moda din ziua de azi.
Erau vremuri cand - probabil din cauza subconstientului comunist pe care toti il avem mai mult sau mai putin - daca faceai ceva altfel decat ceilalti erai considerat paria, exilat din grup, comunitate, societate. Azi e la moda sa fii altfel. E la moda sa iei o chestie (film, muzica, sport,carte, haine, activitati etc.) si sa le transformi in ceva care, chipurile, te caracterizeaza. Asa s-au nascut brandurile.
Fara sa mai mangai campii (fie ei si electromagnetici, ca tot am o obsesie cu electronii in ultima vreme, despre care o sa scriu, dar in engleza, ca suna mai bine) o sa va impartasesc din epifaniile mele cu privire la moda din ziua de azi.
Erau vremuri cand - probabil din cauza subconstientului comunist pe care toti il avem mai mult sau mai putin - daca faceai ceva altfel decat ceilalti erai considerat paria, exilat din grup, comunitate, societate. Azi e la moda sa fii altfel. E la moda sa iei o chestie (film, muzica, sport,carte, haine, activitati etc.) si sa le transformi in ceva care, chipurile, te caracterizeaza. Asa s-au nascut brandurile.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Cum sa Fii la Curent. Prea mult Curent.
Penele de curent sunt mana cereasca! Cand nu ai internetu in degete, devii iarasi om. asa cum am patit noi, caministii fizicieni, vineri seara, cand o pana de curent, blestemata fie instalatia electrica, m-a lasat pt a doua oara (!) fara laptop si hard extern care s-au facut friptura. De fapt adaptoarele lor, dar astea sunt detalii.
Dupa ce mi-am revenit din shock, calmandu-ma ca tre' sa dea curentu si verific atunci daca mai functioneaza zdranganelele, am mers sa pierd timpu cu dragii mei tovarasi, ca na!, fara curent, tre' kiar sa porti conversatii verbale, kestii d-astea antice.
E fain cand nu ai tehnologie in preajma. Ne-am simtit asa fericiti ca o comunitate de Amish...si ce e si mai fain ca invie campusu, dom'le, in situatiile astea! Ies caministii la aer afara ca furnicile din musuroiul gazat. Dar nici prea mult timp fara piese nu se poate. Computerul a devenit o extensie a fiintei noastre, ni se imbarliga sinapsele fara tastatura si net, park nu gandim cu tot creierul, zau asa!
Dupa ce mi-am revenit din shock, calmandu-ma ca tre' sa dea curentu si verific atunci daca mai functioneaza zdranganelele, am mers sa pierd timpu cu dragii mei tovarasi, ca na!, fara curent, tre' kiar sa porti conversatii verbale, kestii d-astea antice.
E fain cand nu ai tehnologie in preajma. Ne-am simtit asa fericiti ca o comunitate de Amish...si ce e si mai fain ca invie campusu, dom'le, in situatiile astea! Ies caministii la aer afara ca furnicile din musuroiul gazat. Dar nici prea mult timp fara piese nu se poate. Computerul a devenit o extensie a fiintei noastre, ni se imbarliga sinapsele fara tastatura si net, park nu gandim cu tot creierul, zau asa!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Hei-hei-hei, feteshteni-mishei...!
Balada Garii din Fetesti
Hai vino iar in gara noastra mica ,Sa vezi ce anevoie-i construita...
Fiind boboc, la gara ma holbam
Si daramata era ea si era frig
Pe langa plopii fara sot
unde se forjau schelele de plumb
Doreii albi, Doreii negri.
(nu suntem rasisti)
A fost odata ca-n Fetesti, A fost ca niciodata,
O mandra gara comunista, Candva incendiata.
O mandra gara comunista, Candva incendiata.
Caci o functionara, lenesa si chioara
Blestemand tura de seara
Flaushatele sosete le-uitat
La uscat pe resou-improvizat.
In zori ajungand acasa
Amintitu-si-a de faza
S-a intors dupa sosete...
Monday, February 8, 2010
A fost inca o data...
Cu lacrimi de fericire in ochi si spirit inflacarat in chiept, cant "Vesnica pomenire" afurisitei de sesiune de iarna! niciodata coliva n-a fost mai bine fiarta ca acum si mai putin fiarta decat va fi la vara.Ca tot ultimu examen s-a petrecut in duminica de dupa Sambata Mortilor.
Serios, un examen ruda cu Inchizitia si toate canoanele bisericesti, blestemate fie-le neamul. Si nu ca ar fi fost subiecte grele, da munca depusa a priori fatidicei ore au scos branza din materia mea cenusie.
Dupa o noapte de viscol rusesc care indemna la tuica fiarta si lancezeala, noi am fost disperatii care au dat zapada din fata facultatii. In care luminile erau stinse si nea portaru se holba la noi ca la ursi polari bronzati ce naiba cautam noi duminica la scoala. Pai, ce sa facem si noi, daca tot nu dam pe la biserica, am zis sa dam si noi examenu la Atomica (WTF?!?!?!?!)
Serios, un examen ruda cu Inchizitia si toate canoanele bisericesti, blestemate fie-le neamul. Si nu ca ar fi fost subiecte grele, da munca depusa a priori fatidicei ore au scos branza din materia mea cenusie.
Dupa o noapte de viscol rusesc care indemna la tuica fiarta si lancezeala, noi am fost disperatii care au dat zapada din fata facultatii. In care luminile erau stinse si nea portaru se holba la noi ca la ursi polari bronzati ce naiba cautam noi duminica la scoala. Pai, ce sa facem si noi, daca tot nu dam pe la biserica, am zis sa dam si noi examenu la Atomica (WTF?!?!?!?!)
Monday, February 1, 2010
"AntZ si electro-furnicutzele"
A fost odata, in taramul fermecat si mirobolant Electrica, tara-sora-vitrega-malefica cu Electronica, marele imparat electric AntZ, zis si "Deget de Furnica" (bine, stim cu totii ca secunzii in comanda ai sai, cei cu nume de imparat roman si imparat al Fizicii faceau sa merite tot show-ul ).
Supusii sai nu au inteles niciodata stilul sau de conducere, caci imparatul dadea legile ca in Grecia Antica la Maraton, sadind confuzie si frustrare in randul multimii. Vorba cea mai vorba : prosti, da` multi!! si mai si amenintau un semestru intreg cu rascoale, anarhie, genocid. Stiau ca vine razboiul, stiau ca vor fi torturati; s-au pregatit cu orele in asteptarea supliciului electric, rugandu-se la toti Sfintii Electroni Furnicoshi sa-si verse milostenia lor atotcuprinzatoare pe sinapsele de lupta.
Supusii sai nu au inteles niciodata stilul sau de conducere, caci imparatul dadea legile ca in Grecia Antica la Maraton, sadind confuzie si frustrare in randul multimii. Vorba cea mai vorba : prosti, da` multi!! si mai si amenintau un semestru intreg cu rascoale, anarhie, genocid. Stiau ca vine razboiul, stiau ca vor fi torturati; s-au pregatit cu orele in asteptarea supliciului electric, rugandu-se la toti Sfintii Electroni Furnicoshi sa-si verse milostenia lor atotcuprinzatoare pe sinapsele de lupta.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Sa am pardon, tovarasi!
Cu profunda lene si respect va salutam de la bordul acestei nave scufundate intr-o mare de .. nu stiu exact ce, da'i sigur ceva de nu miroase bine.
Psihologia umana nu inceteaza sa ne fascineze mai ales in timpuri de criza de timp (hai k o sunat scrantita rau asta!). Deci nu se mai poate! Tovarasii mei de suferinta care noi toti vom indura tortura prin electrocutare versiunea 2.0-beta in bine-injurata zi de luni (ca dak Duminica e ziua Domnului, Luni sigur e a Satanei - sa traiesti, colega!!) sigur se vor regasi in randurile ce urmeza : in contextu nostru sa te feresti de Scaunul Electric inseamna sa nu iei 4 la Electricitate la examen, ma intelegeti.
Cand Eliade o scris cum pierdea el timpu in "Romanul Adolescentului Miop" noi eram inca tocilari din aia cu funduri de borcane la ochi, horipilati de cum putea sa se fereasca pustiul ala de invatat, noi care veneram Sfanta Invatatura. ( in cazu unora era "romanu adolescentului miop, obez si tocilar" 3 in 1, super oferta :P )
Si ma uit acum cum am ajuns, 10 ani mai tarziu, de ma ia cu zig-zaguri pe circumvolutiunile mele decolorate.
Psihologia umana nu inceteaza sa ne fascineze mai ales in timpuri de criza de timp (hai k o sunat scrantita rau asta!). Deci nu se mai poate! Tovarasii mei de suferinta care noi toti vom indura tortura prin electrocutare versiunea 2.0-beta in bine-injurata zi de luni (ca dak Duminica e ziua Domnului, Luni sigur e a Satanei - sa traiesti, colega!!) sigur se vor regasi in randurile ce urmeza : in contextu nostru sa te feresti de Scaunul Electric inseamna sa nu iei 4 la Electricitate la examen, ma intelegeti.
Cand Eliade o scris cum pierdea el timpu in "Romanul Adolescentului Miop" noi eram inca tocilari din aia cu funduri de borcane la ochi, horipilati de cum putea sa se fereasca pustiul ala de invatat, noi care veneram Sfanta Invatatura. ( in cazu unora era "romanu adolescentului miop, obez si tocilar" 3 in 1, super oferta :P )
Si ma uit acum cum am ajuns, 10 ani mai tarziu, de ma ia cu zig-zaguri pe circumvolutiunile mele decolorate.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Elec-electronul meu...^:)^ Hist3ry Ep.1
Rugaciune :
"Elec-electronul meu
Ce-mi faci examenu greu
Esti tu mic, dar lovesti tare
Slab sunt eu, vreau nota mare
Prin diode alergi ca spartu
Aoleu!!!Ma doare capu."
Anul 2 i.L. (inaintea Licentzei)
~26 luna lui Gerar :
Fizoizii isi aparau cu sudoarea creierelor incretzite dreptul la continuitate, in timp ce Electroizii cotropeau Amphiteatrul 1. Timpuri mai sangeroase se anuntau in batalia cu Imperiul Electro-Ungar (n-am gasit nimic sa rimeze, da nu suntem xenofobi :P ) de pe planeta Electronica.
"Elec-electronul meu
Ce-mi faci examenu greu
Esti tu mic, dar lovesti tare
Slab sunt eu, vreau nota mare
Prin diode alergi ca spartu
Aoleu!!!Ma doare capu."
Anul 2 i.L. (inaintea Licentzei)
~26 luna lui Gerar :
Fizoizii isi aparau cu sudoarea creierelor incretzite dreptul la continuitate, in timp ce Electroizii cotropeau Amphiteatrul 1. Timpuri mai sangeroase se anuntau in batalia cu Imperiul Electro-Ungar (n-am gasit nimic sa rimeze, da nu suntem xenofobi :P ) de pe planeta Electronica.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Not Another Vampire Movie
Hi there,youngsters! it's Me!
Remember the Buffy days? When vamps used to be ugly and afraid of the sunlight and mirrors and got their asses kicked by the cute dumb blondie?
That was a decade ago.
Now Buffy got dark hair, big brains, she's not a fashionista, she doesn't kick ass anymore cause she's a total klutz and our new Angel acts our age and fights like a girl blah blah blah..and they got new names too: Bella and Edward.
I do apologize, my poor Twilighters or Fanpires and Twihards (you too, TwiMom! ) for my seemingly cruel and ruthless approach to the issue. But I am doing you gals a favor by bursting the vampy soap-opera bubble.
It preys on the insecurities and utopic dreams of hormonal teenagers and what you are really left with is craving, disappointment and the "never good enough" feeling. It's a Hollywood conspiracy to throw us all into depressive states so that psychiatrists and morticians profit from the outcome.
But it is just so cute, ain't it? The perfect love story between the normal Jane Doe and the smart handsome and rich guy that overreacted with the diamond skin treatment. Take the vamp aspect out of stuff and you've got theCinderella joke right there on.
The Pointy-Tooth fairy tale really screws things up for all real normal guys out there, involved in a relationship or not. Girls are totally hot for the White Fang Prince Charming type, so don't be surprised when your girlfriends will dump you on the account of you not being able to take them swinging in trees or play uber-baseball or your skin not sparkling in the sunlight.
Then there's the lame crossover between "Romeo and Juliet", "Wuthering Heights" and "The Sopranos ", cause that's what they're pushing for in the second movie.
Seriously, the girl isn't even that important. The recipe for the vamp stud is pretty much the same: a full hand of tall and handsome, brains and brawn altogether, the Anne Rice tortured soul routine, the brooding type, the obsessive compulsive passion for books and music, a little Emily Bronte-Jane Austen style glamor (cause it seems these vamps guys got transformed all around that glorious time in history) and there you have it.
Th girl isn't all that important. She can be blond or redhead or brunette, smart or dumb, friendly cheerful perky type or anti-social brooding down to earth type...Because it's not her, it's the blood ( and other hot stuff) the vamps are after.
I mean, these guys fall in love at first bite..or at first sniff. If you remember how Eddie tells Bells how her scent is like his personal brand of heroine..and he looks at her like she's something to eat..It's like we'd fall in love with chocolate or pizza. Seriously, who hooks up with the meal?!
But our "vegan vamps" feed on animals, could that mean they satisfy other "needs" by using animals? Ewwwwww...that is so disgusting even I can't believe I uttered it. "Sleeping where you eat" is taken to a totally different level.
Then, there is, of course, the inevitable break-up...man, the break up is all about that too. if it's not because of sex, it's because of the blood.When vamps say "I`m sorry, you're not my type.." they refer to the blood type, my friends.
And this whole "show the soft side of the fang gang" scheme really takes out all the fun. I mean, they are vamps,supernatural creatures, they're not human, they're not supposed to act normal, that's why we love'em; and here we see them, being actually more normal than some people.
The Others and Me are just so fed up and crazed about this Twilight Mania and the weird effects on the masses. It's a lame attempt at the "Fellowship of the Fangs" kind of thing and its success it based almost entirely on the pretty faces.
Anywhos, what we love most are the freakin' parodies. Which are so awesome!! Especially the ones from the Hillywood Show. You guys rock!!! can't wait for the sequels!
Check them out!
Twilight~~~
New Moon ~~~
Remember the Buffy days? When vamps used to be ugly and afraid of the sunlight and mirrors and got their asses kicked by the cute dumb blondie?
That was a decade ago.
Now Buffy got dark hair, big brains, she's not a fashionista, she doesn't kick ass anymore cause she's a total klutz and our new Angel acts our age and fights like a girl blah blah blah..and they got new names too: Bella and Edward.
I do apologize, my poor Twilighters or Fanpires and Twihards (you too, TwiMom! ) for my seemingly cruel and ruthless approach to the issue. But I am doing you gals a favor by bursting the vampy soap-opera bubble.
It preys on the insecurities and utopic dreams of hormonal teenagers and what you are really left with is craving, disappointment and the "never good enough" feeling. It's a Hollywood conspiracy to throw us all into depressive states so that psychiatrists and morticians profit from the outcome.
But it is just so cute, ain't it? The perfect love story between the normal Jane Doe and the smart handsome and rich guy that overreacted with the diamond skin treatment. Take the vamp aspect out of stuff and you've got the
The Pointy-Tooth fairy tale really screws things up for all real normal guys out there, involved in a relationship or not. Girls are totally hot for the White Fang Prince Charming type, so don't be surprised when your girlfriends will dump you on the account of you not being able to take them swinging in trees or play uber-baseball or your skin not sparkling in the sunlight.
Then there's the lame crossover between "Romeo and Juliet", "Wuthering Heights" and "
Seriously, the girl isn't even that important. The recipe for the vamp stud is pretty much the same: a full hand of tall and handsome, brains and brawn altogether, the Anne Rice tortured soul routine, the brooding type, the obsessive compulsive passion for books and music, a little Emily Bronte-Jane Austen style glamor (cause it seems these vamps guys got transformed all around that glorious time in history) and there you have it.
Th girl isn't all that important. She can be blond or redhead or brunette, smart or dumb, friendly cheerful perky type or anti-social brooding down to earth type...Because it's not her, it's the blood ( and other hot stuff) the vamps are after.
I mean, these guys fall in love at first bite..or at first sniff. If you remember how Eddie tells Bells how her scent is like his personal brand of heroine..and he looks at her like she's something to eat..It's like we'd fall in love with chocolate or pizza. Seriously, who hooks up with the meal?!
But our "vegan vamps" feed on animals, could that mean they satisfy other "needs" by using animals? Ewwwwww...that is so disgusting even I can't believe I uttered it. "Sleeping where you eat" is taken to a totally different level.
Then, there is, of course, the inevitable break-up...man, the break up is all about that too. if it's not because of sex, it's because of the blood.When vamps say "I`m sorry, you're not my type.." they refer to the blood type, my friends.
And this whole "show the soft side of the fang gang" scheme really takes out all the fun. I mean, they are vamps,supernatural creatures, they're not human, they're not supposed to act normal, that's why we love'em; and here we see them, being actually more normal than some people.
The Others and Me are just so fed up and crazed about this Twilight Mania and the weird effects on the masses. It's a lame attempt at the "Fellowship of the Fangs" kind of thing and its success it based almost entirely on the pretty faces.
Anywhos, what we love most are the freakin' parodies. Which are so awesome!! Especially the ones from the Hillywood Show. You guys rock!!! can't wait for the sequels!
Check them out!
Twilight~~~
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