Unu Mai e cea mai ipocrita si oximoronica sarbatoare, pentru ca, (d'oh!!?!?!?) se celebreaza munca prin stat si lenevit! E pur si simplu degeaba.
Adik dak stau sa ma gandesc, daca de Unu Mai lenevesc, de Craciun si de Pasti ce ar trebui sa fac? sa sacrific porumbei si sa ma inchin Satanei? bine, eu sunt agnostica si deci nu ma agitam oricum. In plus, sarbatorile sunt o scuza legitima pentru cei care au nevoie de o scuza ca sa leneveasca si sa bea in nestire.
Si pentru ca si altii sarbatoresc prin munca si s-au apucat de facut revizia la reteaua de alimentare cu apa calda in caminele maguriste vreo 3 zile, mi-am miscat coada cea stufoasa de lup si am venit inapoi la haita de bastina. Din nefericire Unu Mai a picat si prost anu asta, nu mai fentam sistemu ca sa chiulim in zi lucratoare.
Pentru cei care lesinati dupa Vama si munte, va urez distractie faina, soare fara carii, sa nu cadeti prin rape alcoolizati sau sa faceti pneumonie de la inotat goi in apa inghetata si septica a Marii Negre de jeg; daca ajungeti prin spital, sa aveti grija sa nu se prinda doctorii ce ati tras. Ce-mi doresc eu mie, dulce (bleah!) Romanie?... pai, eu de Unu Mai imi doresc sa gasesc de munca :)) , dar peste mari si tari, in tara lu Negru-ca-Obama si cei 666 de teroristi.
Si sa fie Unu mai bun, unu mai sincer, unu mai aproape, unu numai pentru voi...Sau doar Unu.
Cred din ce in ce mai mult ca tzantzarii din Magurica sunt asistente medicale moarte in accidentul de le Cernobal reincarnate.
Este indescriptibil in cuvinte efectul ciupiturilor de tzantzar; plus ca au avansat tehnologic si au trecut pe stealth, si-au luat antiradar, deci nu ii mai simti nicicum. Mai mult, s-au si vaccinat impotriva eventualelor substante tzantzi-cide sau repelente.
Ma amuza faptul ca aceste succubi cu fete de insecte sunt nesatule tare. Cam la atat se reduce vampirismul romanesc de secol 21 : tzantzari. Si ma intreb daca se aplica treaba cu transformatul dupa muscatura, ca asa s-ar explica inmultirea asta bizara, crunta si nesimtita a sugatorilor de sange aia adevarati, nu facaturile holiudiene.
La noi "Amurgu" e horror curat, ca atunci ies sugaretzii si astia nu se indragostesc de victime (multumim Naturii pt asta, that be weird ! ewwwww) A doua zi te simti de parca ai fi facut dus cu praf de scarpinat de calitate proasta.
Sa nu va ciupiti decat de la alcool! Ma duc dupa plici!
P.S.: i do have a thing for insects; it involves loud noises and painful death. on their part.
^^^^^Ultra-special care for you! SPA of the FUTURE^^^^^
Are you tired of warm cleansing calming water coming out of your shower head every day?
Want to feel like tearing down walls and screaming at the top of your lungs with excitement?
Come to the first HUMAN DRY-CLEANER'S!!
PAMPERING PIPES
We will blow the dirt off your back!
~~working hours : from 4:30pm to 7:30 pm, otherwise you'll get normal showers with warm running water like the normal average Joes;
~~we work with substances that will make your skin glow.(cause they're radioactive nonetheless :D )
~~a treatment with cold purifying air will energize you like nothing else; you will feel (and look) like the Incredible Hulk! (i.e. green and pissed off)
CAUTION : beware of Mosquito-zillas that might enter through the air vents!
Check us out only in Hostel G4, 3rd floor room 310,Town of Magurele, Ilfov County
P.S.: yes, we do have a water problem; we were on stake out every evening, until I realized that water too deserves a dinner break. :| the glow part is still under trials! =))
What if for one day (at least) I would say 'yes' to everything? what if I took every opportunity? where would that lead me? Cause I'm pretty sure if I said yes to any proposition I would end up either dead, in hospital or in jail; this is real life, not the Jim Carrey funny flick.
I mean that was all dandy and fine, sweet even, how you get to grow as a person and find happiness out of a row of misguided choices.. but let's get serious. after all, the whole point of saying 'yes' to life is to carefully ponder the choice, its consequences, the people involved in it and then say the word; not jump head first like a blind horse trotting in a New York car jammed intersection.
But it would be fun to have a day when you could just go for it, not minding the outcome. Just go wild, go crazy and do everything you wanted to do or things you never even imagined yourself doing.
Have a walk in the park, step up on a bench and sing the Star Spangled Banner. Ok, this is a date with a cop or a one-way ticket to the loony bin. Or just go on a bus and stop wherever and take whatever bus comes next and see where it takes you. This is pretty safe; unless you end up in the bad side of town and get mugged and beaten to a bloody pulp by a gang of junkies.And these are just earthly examples.
I for one cannot ride a bike or go skating or anything that involves something else than walking on my own two left feet. I tried to, but my attempts were sentenced to utter failure, ergo my lack of a sporting hobby other than hiking.
At some point I wrote a list of things I wanted to do before graduating; I extended the time-line to the moment of my demise, because I am close to graduating and I am still at the top of the list.Hopefully I'll start crossing out stuff this summer when I will see the New World, where everything goes.. within the federal law limits.
Adding the fact that I broke a mirror again, after exactly 7 years (:|), I am counting on things to go swell. By me subconsciously fearing the bad luck, I will head straight for it :D like watching a horror movie through your fingers: you're scared and keep your eyes closed but still thrilled and curious so you take a peek.
But you can't take a peak on life. you have to face it with everything it throws at you and laugh about it; otherwise we'd all go koo-koo.
Until then, I will have a YES-week.well, more or less, til I get in trouble!:D Can't wait to see how this other nutjob of mine will turn out!:D Wish me monsters!
The Sunday retorical : How come drinking Red Bull turns you into a flying fangled chicken?
From the series "From Pest to Pets" we bring you the friendly roach street signs. I must instate a new law with regard to the growing population of bug and roaches from my dorm. I'm thinking since I cannot fight them, I should befriend them. (according to Murphy, 'if you can't beat'em, join'em.")
So I feel these icky disgusting disease-carrying critters should be protected. In the view of the overpopulation of humans, we need something to compete with. and we are no more of a pest than they are, so it's a tie!
De la Elena Farago, care sigur n-a avut gandaci ever, "De ce ma strangi in pumnul tau, copil frumos/ Tu nu stii oare ca sunt sunt mic si ca ma doare?"
Stia copilul ca un gandac azi inseamna 1000 maine.."cine te-a pus sa intri aici? tu nu te-ai aflat c-am Aroxol si-o sa cazi lat?"
Si pe alta nota optimista vis-a-vis de comunitarii care ne fac sa apreciem viata mai mult cu fiecare clipe cand scapam fara muscaturi in fata caminului...
"facem slalom printre jivini zi de zi
intr-o curte mica si murdara asa cum o stii
cainii par conceputi pe cale artificiala
ca sunt multi ai naibii si n-au nici o boala..."
1.Some great achievement today...la laboratorul de electronik ne-a iesit lucrarea super; si nici n-am masluit datele. In plus am facut noi o constatare despre zebre : sunt cai in dungi alb-negru, i.e. cai emo.
2.Sunt mai efervescenta ca Schweppsu dupa ce am umblat prin ploia acidulata de cenusa vulcanului ala flegmatic.O sa imi ia foc parul in somn.
3.Visul e american, dar cosmarul e romanesc! strike 2 today. I'm eager for the next mishap.
4. Puncte-puncte. "We care (fara semnul exclamarii)"
Multumesc, atat am avut de spus.
P.S. : Sa dea cineva un sut lui Mercur sa nu mai retrogradeze, ca a macelarit horoscopul.; ma fugareste mai rau ca la Cros and I'd kinda like to go back to my normal weird days.
Horrorscopul e un fel de fortune cookie; noi, astro-naucii, nu credem pre-auzeli astrale. But just in case.
Mda, toate lucrurile bune sunt ilegale, imorale, ingrasa sau se intampla brusc. Blogosfera suspina cu regret si ofteaza cu emotie pentru dragul nostru bloGropar care peste o luna isi imbraca kirostriile. Se stie ca o data ce ai pus catusa aia mica grea de aur, cu impulsuri electrice cand detecteaza ca minti, viata asa cum o stii, a luat sfarsit!
Dam acatiste pentru tine, draga Gropare, sa nu uiti sa ne onorezi cu prezenta in postari, ca sunt atatia care isi leaga existenta de intelepciunea ta neegalata, incat ne temem sa nu se inmulteasca emoizii si sa auzim de cazuri de suicid ca nu te-am mai citit sau mai rau, sa ne vezi pe toti in sevraj!
Ca tu pentru noi esti ca Profetul, laudat fie-ti numele. Iti citim Coranul blogosferic de 3 ori pe zi :) si se stie ca viata de dupa nunta e exact ca in Rai : ii zici 'da' Doamnei si totu-i verde crud de primavara si pasarele ciripind..si dandu-ti cu ciocu-n cap dak ai vrea sa iesi oleaca pe poarta...Sa ne zici si noua cum e, noi astia care inca zburdam liberi pe campia burlaciei >:) sa stim sa ne ferim de boala care te-o lovit si pe tine (o lacrima timida sclipeste feciorelnica in coltul ochiului,..da ala singur din mijlocul fruntii cu care va vad! :D)
In alta ordine de idei, Partidul iti ureaza dupa cum urmeaza :
Aho, aho, mai cititori
Stati putin, nu dati ignore
Langa blog v-alaturati
Postul sa il savurati
Maine luna o sa treaca
Groparu o sa petreaca
Ca isi ia soatza frumoasa
Desteapta, fata de casa
Sa il faca om intreg...
(sa speram ca nu si bleg!)
Sa ai casa de diamant
Nevasta sa nu-si ia amant
Sa nu te transforme in sfant
Sa mai bei din cand in cand
Sa ne scrii de dupa gratii
Stiu,suntem niste pramatii!
S-aveti copii sanatosi
Groparei cei mai bistosi
Doar de bine s-auzim
Noi ce blogu' ti-l citim!
La anu si la multi ani, tie nea Gropare si lu' tanti Groparoaia! sa te dreseze bine da' nu de tot! :D
And there it was and there it wasn't anymore..the Annual Run-For-Nothing-Stare-And-Swear Competition for Students, Mummies and Toddlers. And how fun it was.
Actually, the day unfolded exactly as I predicted it would. Some things never change. After all, some people's improvement stop at potty-training, so ..you get my point.
Same chaotic organization, almost the same winners and losers..and of course, the "Dumb and Dumber" section. where you could have gazed upon the most annoyed and unnerved and pissed-off and tired-wax figures. Yes, the wax itself was mad, our being itself was made of sarcasm and cynicism and Hell couldn't face us, the faithful Keepers of the "keep-off-the-grass" ribbon.Yep, it was one Sucky-Sunday.
I didn't get to do any of the things I had in mind. at least i get to lazy away through the afternoon..so see ya!
We are now happy to announce you that your flight has been canceled due to the traveling ash cloud from the Eyjafjallajokull volcano eruption in Iceland. Also, the ash cloud will reach your area in t-minus : #$% hours.
Weather forecast predicts heavy acid rain which will poison the soil and kill all vegetation and livestock. Effects are long term , lasting for 2-4 years.
Earthquakes continue the series of mayhem in California, Mexico and China.
Have a lovely weekend!
In an unrelated note, this is Saturday Nightmare Live with Mary Wolfwere :D
And the hits just keep on coming : Electronics cramming for midterm. Wish me amps and monsters!
Last week We read : US Woman returns adopted child to Mother Russia with a note that said : 'I don't want him anymore.'
I know Americans are picky, but this blows the limits. The woman claimed that the 7-yr old boy had a behavioral and mental disorder and she couldn't handle it. The little hellion was too much of a handful for the 26-yr old bored desperate housewife. So she put him alone on a plane with nothing more than crayons and candy in his bag and a note.
He was doing awfully disturbing things like drawing pictures of her and her family burning down inside their house. I would too, if I was an orphan and being fostered from one home to another, like herded cattle into the stables. Or maybe the unfit mother was paranoid enough to think the kid was a KGB spy sent to bring down the 'world's greatest nation'.
Let us break it down to the world : they are kids, they are supposed to be disordered. Of course, there are some mental conditions that go beyond the power of comprehension of our regular Jane Doe, but if any parent (biological or adoptive) would give up their kids because they feel overwhelmed by the situation, where would we be?!being a parent is a test of endurance; if you get on that ship, you have to sail all the way.
We are saying all this out of deep admiration for our parents who have made it through all our psychotic episodes and bitch fits and nervous breakdowns as teens.
They'd kick the X-men, the Hulk and the Fantastic 4 altogether!
Entropia este fascinanta! Incertitudinea, nu mai zic! trebuie sa existe intr-adevar variabile ascunse (superstitia definita stiintific), ca altfel am putea face lucrurile sa mearga exact asa cum vrea noi, am controla perfect evolutia sistemelor; Butterfly Effect, ya know?!.
"Sunt student". Acestea sunt cele 2 cuvinte care iti rezolva jumatate din probleme; si iti creeaza cealalta jumatate!!Cat costa la noi sa demonstrezi ca esti student? 25 de lei si o luna.
Pentru ca urmeaza sa ma interogheze yankeii de la Ambasada SUA ca sa vada ca nu ma duc cu silicoane explozibile la ei in grajd, am nevoie sa arat ca sunt student integralist, id est imi trebuie o hartiuta semnata si stampilata care se numeste situatie scolara ; imi place ca americanii astia vor sclavi cu IQ respectabil, sa stim sa calculam si viteza cu care trebuie sa alergam pe la mese, densitatea corecta a bagajelor pe metru cub and so on and so forth.
Nefericirea face sa am facultatea in camp.La marginea marginii Bucurestiului. Ca sa ajung la Rect-orat (cratima e intentionata!) trebuie sa dau acatiste (nu, nu-mi tradez agnosticismul) ca sa prind un RATB sau un microbuz pana in Alexandria de unde sa iau un 96 care sa ma duca la Eroilor.
Astazi a trebuit sa sacrific un curs (toci,toci! Ja, Das bin Ich!) ca sa pot sa ajung la Rect-orat la ora la care presteaza doamnele secretare : 12-14 ( fir-as albastra daca pot sa imi dau seama de unde moda asta de 2 ore lucru cu publicul! adica ori dumnealor se considera super-secretare sa rezolve atatea sute de diverse probleme ale sutelor de studenti/profi cati suntem, ori au impresia ca traiesc intr-o comunitate de 200 de oameni, nu 2 milioane cate prezinta Crap-itala)
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